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  • tiffanidomokos

Choose your discomfort

Updated: Feb 16, 2023

How is 2023 treating you so far? Are you approaching your goals with gentleness and compassion like we talked about last month? Are you finding ways that achieving these goals are bringing some uncomfortable feelings for you? I sure am!

No one LIKES feeling discomfort. In fact, our brains revolt against discomfort in favor of more pleasant sensations. We end up choosing our discomfort: which thing is more uncomfortable: staying where I am or growing and changing? If we spend our lives staying in our current discomfort, we will never grow!

I don't typically choose new year's goals. I choose a word or two each year that I set my intention on. It truly never fails that every time I do this, that word comes up all over the place. I know about confirmation bias and I'm sure that's what's happening, but it is quite uncanny.

This year, my words of the year are OPEN and CONNECT. As an Enneagram 4, these words are absolutely awesome when I am in a thriving space....and a huge struggle when I'm not. This month I found myself flirting with the struggle side with big emotions that threatened to overwhelm me, that made me so uncomfortable that I wanted to hole up in my house and hide from the world. That's what I do...I don't TELL people about my struggle when it's happening. I hide until the storm is over.

But these words (OPEN/CONNECT) kept coming to my mind over and over... I kept seeing and hearing them everywhere. They became this magnetic pull to recognize my discomfort and to do something different...rather than hiding, connect. Rather than closing off, open.

So, I chose my discomfort.

I asked some pointed questions of myself about who I wanted to be and to become and what it would take to get there. Yeesh! Those looks in the mirror can be rough.


And I chose my discomfort.

I got curious. I chose to understand why this habit had formed and what brought up the discomfort in doing something different. With that understanding, I recognized that my current habits did not align with who I want to be.

So, I chose my discomfort...

with being vulnerable and open and connecting when I have big feelings

and I committed to telling people what I needed and sharing what I was going through. I could have chosen the discomfort of continued isolation and cutting myself off. I had lived with those uncomfortable feelings for decades now, but they were not producing the result that I wanted anymore.

So, I chose my discomfort and put myself out there and got comfortable with the discomfort that comes with risking vulnerability. What I found was that people are much more gracious than I expected and I feel much more seen and loved than I had hoped. I am becoming more of who I want to be and that makes me feel so proud!

What about you? What do you do when faced with discomfort? Leave a comment and tell me all about it!

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